Meta is over. I say it with a thrill, but at the same time with a sad smile touching my lips. I am so grateful to it, and all the same so sad it is over. I am not saying bye to you, my readers, as my journey indeed continues. Literally: Continuity is there for me. There will be more yummy foods, more reports… There still will be progressing from one level to another…
But it is sad to say bye to something that changed your life so much. Transformed me and the way I think, the way I do things, the way I think about myrself, about exercise, about healthy lifestyle… For me this was not simply the way towards a small waist – alas, you are witnesses, I never wanted (or needed either) to lose more than 7-10 cm in my waist. It was also not the way towards healthy weight – I was in the range of what is considered healthy for my age and height when I started (well at the edge of it). So, I am fully aware, you might think it all has been easier for me than for many of the older and bigger girls out there. But here comes the truth: it is hard for every single one of us, equally. Because we are not just fighting our weight, getting better looks, we are fighting the lazy and the giving-up side of ourselves – please forgive my rough language – but the looser side of us. Because losing comes from giving up. Losing comes from not bringing something to the end. From not finishing what you start. From cheating – not someone else – but yourself. The hardest job for any of us who are embarking onto this journey for self-improvement – regardless of what method you use and how you exercise – is to say a big fat “NO” to our laziness, set a goal and fight every single day.
Meta didn’t just give me the lean body I love (I have a ‘boy-ish’ complexion, so to be honest, Meta was great for me). Meta didn’t just help me lose the weight I gained leading a sedentary life and overeating… It gave me a habit of working out, of enjoying it, of knowing you are doing it for yourself. It gave me the chance to feel good – physically and psychologically. But still – the most important – it gave me strength. I know – NOW I know! – I do have the backbone. When I do set my mind onto something – I WILL do it. Now I know it.
Even though I had much less inches and weight to lose, don’t underestimate the effort it took and still takes me to exercise!!! Even though I never was overweight, I was not healthy and I am essentially a very lazy person. I had to fight my laziness every day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And laziness is a funny thing: it finds “reasonable” arguments for you NOT to go on. Like “I don’t have time” or “I am not feeling well” (when you only started feeling unwell when you thought so) or “Nothing would happen if I don’t work out in the morning” (and you end up never finding time to work out later in the day) or “It is a whole hour! I can’t spare so much time!” – whereas the correct thinking would be “This is only half an hour and another half an hour – so little!”
I had a tough time learning how to trick the lazy side of me – or make a deal with it. I would give myself little gifts: a little chocolate, or a new nail polish, or little earrings if I had a good workout. I learnt how to count reps to trick myself – instead of counting from 1 to 40, I would count from 1 to 10 four times, or even better – I would count “1-1-1-1, 2-2-2-2 … 10-10-10-10” (something my best friend taught me) – so in the end it is almost like doing only 10 reps… well 10 reps 4 times each :))))) I argued with myself so many times during DC: my laziness would say “You don’t have time, you have a lot to do”, and my rational and critical self would reply “Ha-ha, right! You will procrastinate anyways for an hour, you might as well work out – it is at least useful!” Oh, so many-many countless days during DC the lazy-me would think
– OK, only 15 minutes, I am not feeling that well.
But with time the backbone-me learnt to counter this thinking when it is 15 minutes into DC.
– C’mon, if you did 15 minutes, you might as well do 20.
– OK, - the laziness would say. – 20 minutes it is.
And after some time:
– Hey, we did 20 minutes!
But the backbone-me would go:
–What is 20 minutes?! You did SO much already, you might as well do 5 more minutes – it’s nothing compared to 20!!!
Around the time the “homestretch” (around minute 24) of DC backbone makes the final strike:
–C’mon! You reached the homestretch, as Tracy calls it. You can’t give up NOW!!!!
At the end – when Tracy says “You made it to the end, I am so proud of you!”, my little lazy ass starts crying like a little girl saying “I was so so so wrong! Of course we could do it!” And the backbone just taps the little lazy girl on her shoulder and says “There, there!” :)
This kind of drama went on in my head almost every other day. Honestly. And if you think it is easy, you are wrong.
So, all in all, it has been a difficult journey. And it still continues. I hope you all will find strength to start a journey for self improvement! And it doesn’t have to be TAM :) This is not what I mean. Find something you always wanted to do, but had problems doing. And DO it. :) Get the strength for it, succeed in it! Overcoming your own weaknesses and imperfections – this is what makes one strong.
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| I CAN do it! Any bets? :) |
Believe in yourself, people, challenge yourself and just go for it! Let yourself be proud of what you accomplish!
